Me: Define Illegal Cop: You're drunk, riding a horse, shooting a gun and yelling 'For Narnia' Me: I want my lawyer.

If you roll out your chapstick more than an inch, I'll see you in court.

what does the Bible say about faking your own death to get out of jury duty

My main goal in life is to become a cooking show judge Mostly because I like to criticize people while I eat