I wish you'd told me you were happy just flirting on twitter. I've already bought plane tickets and murdered my wife.

A handsome man came up to me today & said "Hi what's your name?" I said "You on Twitter?" He said "No" We're getting married on Monday!

No Twitter crush. I have a twitter boyfriend who I intend to marry and have twitter babies. Then twitter divorce and take all his followers.

I thought I had a Twitter Crush but his wife thought otherwise