[ouija board] hi grandma, i hope your in heaven and i love you "..y..o..u..'r..e.."

Sometimes I miss my grandfather, but I know he's up in heaven groping angel titties and saying some next level racist shit.

I once went to a party with 10% battery life on my phone so you can shut the hell up about your "scary" battle at Normandy, grandpa.

Grandma found out I'm single so I have roughly an hour to find a gf or Ill be getting the 'have you thought about being a priest' talk again