When I was a kid. I used to come home drunk & beat my Dad.

My parents are pretty middle aged. "So? That's pretty norm-" *two knights bust in* "CHILD, DOST THOU REQUEST REFRESHMENTS FROM THE TAVERN?"

*sees girl at bar* Hey baby, wanna get outta here? "Sure!" Good, you're really killing the vibe.

I bring our baby to the bar so I can throw her at people and slurp down their c**ktails while they're trying to catch her.