Guarantees in life: 1) death 2) taxes 3) me pulling the handle of your car door at the same moment you try to unlock it

i always get gatorade and gasoline confused. my car is real good at sports and im dead

Her; My phones dead let me use yours Me; (throws phone out car window) oh I must of left it at home

Someone just honked to get me to get out of my parking spot faster so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead