Tim the Conductor Once upon a time there was a train conductor named Tim. Tim greatly enjoyed conducting his train around every day, and even though he had relatively poor pay, all was well in Tim's world. There was only one issue; Tim was a flat out *awful* conductor. He reduced the overall efficiency of all of the trains nearly every day by screwing up his timing, causing other trains to have to wait on him. Tim's conducting got worse and worse as time went on. One day, Tim decided to try and …

Two Newfies picking college classes. Two Newfies (the Canadian version of blondes I guess) are picking classes for college. The first one goes into the councillors office to sign up. Inside, the councillor says to him, ""I'm going to recommend five classes for you: Math, English, Science, History, and Logic."" ""Logic?"" the Newfie replies. ""What's that?"" ""I'll give you an example,"" the councillor replies. ""Do you own a lawnmower?"" ""Of course!"" ""Well then, using logic, I can reasonably …

My wife tried to apply at the post office but they wouldn't letter. They said only mails work here.

My boss asked me why I'm late, apparently answering "because your wife wouldn't let me get out of bed" just gets you sent to HR.