While Twitter is the slutty wife we all share, Facebook has become the humorless mother-in-law we all endure.

My wife is: 1) Am amazing mom and a great friend 2) Still the most beautiful girl I've ever been with 3) Now following me on Twitter

"My husband's a talented voice actor & his brother's a makeup artist but nah this old lady is a different person" -the mom in Mrs. Doubtfire

Your mother and I want you to know that we love you very much, so that's why we're getting a divorce and marrying you instead.