FRIEND: Australia has 9 of the 10 world's deadliest snakes ME: OMG ONE ESCAPED?!

My ex gf came from the land down under, no not Australia, Hell.

me: could my thighs get any bigger? *sits down* me: oh look now they're the size of Australia

If the US admits that Trump's presidential campaign is a hoax then Australia will come clean about the platypus.