[girl chatting up guy at bar] girl: so what do you do? magician: i halve a girlfriend

Me: I want to take you home and drink you up baby Case of beer: I have a boyfriend

A vegan, a gap year student and a girl with a boyfriend walk into a bar Who tells you first?

My girlfriend's angry because I got drunk and did a shit on the roof. Please tell me, how can I wipe the slate clean?