[phone] WIFE: Where the hell are u? ME: Well u know that jewellers where u saw that ring u wanted? W: OMG M: I'm in a bar not far from there

Late Night A guy was standing in a bar when a stranger walks in. After a while they get to talking and at about 10:30 PM the second guy says, ""Oh well,I better get home.My wife doesn't like me to stay out during late night."" The first guy replies, ""I'll help you out of this. Just do what I say. Go home. Sneak into the bedroom. Pull back the covers. Get down between her legs then lick, lick and lick for about 20 minutes and there will be no complaints in the morning."" The guy agrees to try th…

The man with the huge orange head A man walks into a bar and he looks around he sees this man sitting in the corner with this huge orange head. So he goes up to the bartender and he says ""so what's up with the guy with the giant orange head"" the bartender replies ""oh if you buy him a drink hell probably tell you all about it"" so he buys the guy a drink and goes to sit with him. The guy with the orange head says ""so I suppose you want to know about my head"" and so he tells him and he says "…

The Hunter The big game hunter walked in the bar and bragged to everyone about his hunting skills. The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one could dispute that. But then he said that they could blindfold him and he would recognize any animal's skin from its feel, and if he could locate the bullet hole he would even tell them what calibre the bullet was that killed the animal. The hunter said that he was willing to prove it if they would put up the drinks, and so the bet was on. They blindfo…