Went to take out money from the ATM and hit Espanol by accident.It replied, 'Nice try, you don't get paid until all the onions are chopped'.

My superpower is getting behind the person who is obviously refinancing their mortgage at the ATM.

I usually make it to the ATM just behind the guy who's using it to refinance his home loan.

The bank robbery would have ended much better for me if I hadn't stopped on the way out at the ATM to deposit the money.