Went to take out money from the ATM and hit Espanol by accident.It replied, 'Nice try, you don't get paid until all the onions are chopped'.

I usually make it to the ATM just behind the guy who's using it to refinance his home loan.

Have you heard about the ATM that got addicted to money? I heard it suffered from withdrawls.

They told me if you put your newborn in front of an orphanage he would grow up an Orphan So I stuck my baby in the ATM machine so he could grow up to be a rich banker