Ouija boards are officially obsolete, now that the dead can read messages addressed to them on Facebook.

Facebook timelines are just a step by step account of your march toward death.

I've just seen a girl post a selfie with her dead grandma on facebook and thousands have commented "rip". Stop the internet, I wanna get off

To be honest, I'm not going to be completely happy until Facebook implements a 'I Wish You Were Dead' button.