America, a country where people spend half of their money on food, and the other half on losing weight.

[first date] Him: You're amazing! I'm having a great time! Me: I will fight you for the rest of this pizza.

America only considers a war a success if we build a Bed Bath and Beyond in the enemy's capital.

I'll usually order the chicken sandwich. I like my food to be more cowardly than I am.