Drake Bell needs to call his child Taco.

I asked my wife what she wanted for dinner. Wife - ""I don't know."" Me, throwing out something completely random - ""How about roast canard."" (french for duck) Wife - ""What's a canard?"" Me - ""Same as a mallard."" (type of duck) Wife - ""What's a mallard?"" Me - ""Same as a drake."" (male duck) Wife - ""So, roast canard is a really bad dancer?"" I wish I had come up with that punch line. Also, I learned all of these things watching Darkwing Duck as a child.

Kanye West must feel very conflicted right now. He's excited Kim is pregnant, but deep down he knows Beyonce had the best baby of all time.

I hope Jessica Biel names her first child Batmo.