Words I thought I would never have to yell from the kitchen into the living room: "DON'T GIVE THE CAT SCOTCH!"

Of course I don't put Christmas presents under the tree for the CAT! That's just silly. She gets a stocking.

Me: Define Illegal Cop: You're drunk, riding a horse, shooting a gun and yelling 'For Narnia' Me: I want my lawyer.

She has a coy pond. All the pretty fish swim away when you try to feed them.