😄 Me: "I'd like to withdraw 3 sausages and a packet of peanuts please." Man: "That isn't how a food ba...

I just wish I was rich enough to be able to throw all of the pots and pans away after I cook.

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*runs into restaurant* IS ANYONE HERE A DOCTOR? "I'm a doctor" Nice. Nice. Can you buy me dinner I'm very poor

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Kids have so many food allergies these days. In 15 years you'll be able to rob a bank with a bag of peanuts.

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if money can't buy happiness explain pizza

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