Yet again my date made me get out of his car before we'd even had dinner. Uber is the worst dating app ever.

Him: Are you on your way? Me: Yes, this cab driver sucks! *changes outfit for the 6th time, gulps wine and requests an uber*

All I want from Uber is to be driven around until I fall asleep, carried over the driver's shoulder into my home, and tucked into bed

I'm in an Uber going 100mph the wrong way on the freeway and the driver's girlfriend keeps calling and screaming at him on speakerphone