Me: Hello Teacher: Hello M: How's my kid doing in school? T: How's my kid doing in school? I hate parrot teacher conferences

*man with beerbelly waiting outside elementary school* *teacher walks towards man* "are you expecting a child?" "no thats from all the beer"

How much would you have to pay a teacher to flunk your kid so he has to go to Summer School? Just planning ahead...

Good Kid! A father had a rather dim-witted son. One day, the son came home from school. His father asked him, ""How was school, son?"" His son replied, ""Great dad! My teacher asked a question, and only I could answer!"" His father was overjoyed. He probed, ""Good kid! What was the question?"" His son replied, ""She asked, 'Who farted?' ""