My gassy dog might be the leader of Russia... ...because she is always Putin.

Difference between a cow and Russia They both contain Putin...

Vladimir Putin and his driver die in a car accident Not surprisingly, they end up in Hell. The Devil gives them choice - they can go to Russian Hell, or American Hell. They look around and don't see much difference between the two; really, they both look fairly nice and pleasant. The Devil lets them know, however, that each morning, they must eat an entire bucket of cow shit before they can do anything else. Putin, having always secretly been jealous of America, chooses American Hell. His …

Reports are now emerging from Russia that Putin rode the meteorite while shirtless, steering it away from a box of kittens.