*Maybe try dressing up as SpongeBob this Halloween, since you're so self absorbed.* -Me as a therapist

For Halloween my husband asked me to dress up as a nurse, cause that's one of his fantasies: That we have health care.

A close call. A man sits down in his chair then rips a huge fart. His wife says ""one of these days you're going to shit your guts out"". It becomes a habit that every time he passes gas she says ""one day you will shit you're guts out"" One day on Thanksgiving morning she decides she's had enough. She takes all the guts from the Turkey and sneeks them under the covers while her husband sleeps,then goes back to the kitchen to wait. After an hour or so she hears her husband scream then silence. H…

Flatulence problem... **Okay, so I usually post my own jokes, but I thought i'd switch it up with one of my faves that's not written by me:** There was an old married couple that had lived happily together for nearly forty years. The only friction in their marriage was caused by the husband's habit of breaking wind nearly every morning as he awoke. The noise would always wake up his wife and the smell would cause her eyes to water as she would choke and gasp for air. Nearly every morning he told…