what does the Bible say about faking your own death to get out of jury duty

My attorney's sole responsibility after I die will be to unfriend people that post anything about angels on my wall.

[dog on trial for murder] lawyer: who's a good boy? dog: I am lawyer: your honor I rest my case

Judge: Did you commit murder? Me: I'm a man. I'm afraid of commitment. Judge: hahaha! Me: hahaha! Judge: Life.