YOU ASKED IF YOU COULD PET HER, NOT IF SHE BITES, MEGAN.

Megan, but with an H? Whatever you say, girls named Hmegan.

got a meat lover's pizza with the Works: freckles, man curds, leeches, clam clits, jowls, blood clots, charred nuggets, gristle, Megan

All I did was compliment a coworker on their fantastic mustache, and now I'm in HR's office. Thanks a lot, Megan!