[Being murdered at Walmart] Please will you dump my dead body at Target people can't know I shopped here

Kmart always smells like if Walmart was found dead in its apartment after three days.

A man is sick and tired of his marriage... so he decides to have his wife killed. He goes into a bar in a shady bit of town and asks the barman ""Know anyone who can get someone... you know... *sorted out* for me?"" The barman directs him to Arthur, sitting in a corner on his own. The man goes over and asks if he's Arthur, who replies ""Call me Arty"" ""I need you to get rid of my wife"" ""Ok, tell me where and when"" ""She'll be at Walmart, at about 4 pm tomorrow, wearing jeans, a green t shirt…

Milk joke Walmart on a sunday night. Place is dead, my dad and I are stopping to grab some milk. Just a gallon. Go up to the cashier, she rings us up and we pay for it. ""Would you like a bag for that sir?"" She asks us My dad's swift reply: ""No I'll keep it in the container, last time I put it in the bag it spilled everywhere."" First post hope you like it. :)