Facebook tells me today is "National Winnie the Pooh Day" ... I hope they're ok with me just wearing a red t-shirt & no pants to the office

I paid $200,000 for an English degree and my coworker just asked me to proofread her Facebook status.

My boss asked if I had Facebook and I said sure and gave up the link. Then she asked about twitter. After an awkward silence I said, huh?

Wanna screw with your idiot friends on Facebook? Post that Obama passed a law to stay in office a third term this morning. Praise Jesus.