I actually loved the Twilight: Eclipse movie until I realized I was actually in an alley drunk watching two cats fight over a dead mouse.

A man's wife is going to kick him out of the house for drinking too much. Joe and his friends frequent one bar in town a lot and his wife hates it. She thinks he drinks entirely too much and it is causing a problem in their marriage . After one particularly long bender Joe ends up puking all over himself before he stumbles back home. Joe wakes up to his wife screaming at him. She threatens that he really needs to cut back on the drinking and if she sees him come home like this one more time she …

To be part of the clan... A man is looking for a radical life change. After considerable thought, he decides to move to the freezing regions of Alaska, to live with the Eskimos. He leaves soon afterwards. He really enjoys his time there. He seems to be getting along with everyone, and has learned to adapt to the harsh climate. And though he's friendly with everyone, he isn't ever considered their equals. This eats at him for a while. He decides he must earn the eskimo's respect if he is to survi…

Ed the Chicken Ed came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife,and fell into a deep slumber. He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, You died in your sleep, Ed.' Ed was stunned. I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!' St. Peter said, I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken.' Ed was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home. The next thing he knew, he was covered w…