The first person to milk a cow probably saw a baby cow nursing and was like oh yeah people do that too and I have no food I don't wanna die

Nobody was healthier than my vegan, gluten-free friend Chad until the day that baby squirrel beat him to death.

Came up with a somewhat original dead child joke today. How is a ten year old different from a pizza? Pizza doesn't beg for you to finish it off when you only eat half of it.

[NSFW] Let's start a horrible joke thread. This thread is for dirty jokes, racist jokes, dead baby jokes, anything you've got. I want your best, reddit. I'll start (sorry if you've heard some of these): How do you fit 100 Jews into 1 car? 2 in the front 2 in the back and 96 in the ashtray. What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven. What do you call 100 black men buried up to their neck in dirt? Afro turf. What's the difference between a b…