"Uh-oh!" - My toddler, looking me dead in the eye while he feeds his dinner to the dog

Hey, baby, you wanna come back to my place, and become a famous murder victim?

If a child's survival depended on my ability to share bacon, I would weep greasy, bacony tears at that child's funeral.

The most unrealistic thing about The Walking Dead is that a couple who had a kid after 2000 would've named it Carl.