baby moses: [crying] mum: "why wont he stop" dad: "throw him in the river lol" mum: "okay" this is from a book called the bible

*Maintains eye contact with the soccer mom feeding her kid organic kale chips while giving my kid a snickers bar.

Don't ask... So one fine day, a young boy is listening to the radio. He has very bad reception so the radio is sort of static, nevertheless, he catches something about a purple donut. His curiosity sparked, he meanders over to his mother and said, ""Momma, what's a purple donut?"" She then gets this wild look in her eye an grabs a bat and begins to vigorously beat the boy. She yells, ""Get your ass to school, when you get home your going to the cellar!"" So he walks to school. He has a bloody no…

A woman brings another man home while her husband is away at work... A woman brings another man home while her husband is away at work. Her kid is home, sees the man and gets scared and runs into his mothers closet. The woman brings the man up and they start to do their thing. Suddenly, the front door opens up, and the husband is home from work early. The wife tells the man to hide in the closet. Low and behold, the kid is also in the closet. ""It sure is dark in here"" says the kid. ""yeah"" ne…