You can't let me into the club? Maybe my friend Benjamin Franklin can persuade you... *comes back 45 mins later in a bad wig, holding a kite*

The first rule of kite club is you do not talk about Benjamin Franklin.

there's a portal to another dimension underneath Zooey Deschanel's bangs and I am determined to use it to meet Benjamin Franklin

Benjamin Franklin and George Washington walk into a bar and sit down next to Trump. Franklin turns to Trump and says: ""I do not believe you understand the value of liberty, my good fellow."" Trump turns to Franklin and gives him a $100 dollar bill and says: ""Of course I do. Money rules this world, Mr. Franklin. That's all I need to know!"" Trump taps Franklin's portrait on the bill. ""Now leave me alone!"" Franklin scoffs at the gesture and walks out the bar. Washington is shocked and loudly e…