😄 Just made eye contact with a truck driver while eating a corn dog at a convenience store and now I h...

Texting while driving: Bad. Wrestling a shark while driving: STILL LEGAL! WOOHOOO!!!

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"David you're late again!" "Sorry boss.." [cut to: me running on all fours through a forest chasing deer] "...traffic"

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I just hit a duck with my car. Wasn't even in it. Incredible strength.

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Mechanic said I blew a seal... Technically, it was a sea lion, but more importantly, how did he even know?

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