I root against my college football team. That place put me $80,000 in debt. It'd be like rooting for the bank that holds your mortgage.

My grandma was so poor she only left me recipes for pasta dishes in her will, you could say she was my.. *golf swings* Pennefactor.

While walking down the street one day, a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies... His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance. ""Welcome to heaven,"" says St. Peter. ""Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."" ""No problem, just let me in,"" says the man. ""Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hel…

What is your best practical joke that only you, now reddit, knows about. Warning Wall of Text! Sometimes jokes are best when only you know about them. [Andy Kaufman](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tony_Clifton) was king of these. My jokee was an unsuspecting neighbor. I had Dish Network service and one of the remote controls was an RF remote meaning that you didn't have to be line of sight in order for it to work. My very new neighbor recently got Dish Network installed, I saw them putting up the …