Me: Define Illegal Cop: You're drunk, riding a horse, shooting a gun and yelling 'For Narnia' Me: I want my lawyer.

Girl: My dog bit my boyfriend. Me: Your dog is a good judge of character.

I hope I never have to produce an alibi...cause eating salsa in bed with my cat every night would never hold up in court.

If I were a Scooby Doo villain, I'd take the whole thing to court. How hard can it be to overturn the testimony of 4 kids who talk to a dog?