Baby Soldier: Ma'am. Your husband is MIA. Soldiers wife: *covers crying face with hands* Baby Soldier: Oh great! Now his wife is MIA too.

The scariest thing about the Cold War was the threat of getting stuck inside a bunker with your spouse.

Dearest wife, The war on Christmas goes well. We found an elf stronghold & cut off its candy cane supply lines. Last night, they ate Donner.

The Italian bride A newly married Italian couple is spending their honeymoon in the bride's mother's country cottage. It's the 1930s the bride's father died long ago, and they don't have much money so this is the best they can do. The new bride, a lovely young woman, has never left her village and never been with a man before. Her new husband sits alone upstairs while she tells her mother how nervous and scared she is to be with a man for the first time. ""You-a don't-a worry"" Her mother tells …