My husband has been missing for a week, the police say to prepare for the worst... So I went to the thrift store & got all his clothes back!

cop: we found your wife with a knife in her back me: that doesn't sound like her, she never kept a knife there

Wife just texted me drive slow - cop around the corner so I laughed and showed it to the cop.

COP: do you know why I pulled you over? COP'S WIFE: *now next to him on the couch* Because you're scared of the movie COP: Yes it's too real