[wife gets in the car after talking with the priest] "What did the priest have to say?" "He said you have to stop rapping over the choir."

A lady told me that Autism is punishment for the sins of the parent. That is the story of me punching a lady in a church parking lot.

Highway to Hell is my favorite wedding song.

Hell hath no fury like a toddler wants to "do it herself." Three hours later, I'm still waiting for her to get out of the car.