Headline: "Russian Jet Shot Down by Turkey" My 1st thought was, "Holy shit the bird has gone Rambo." I must have Thanksgiving on my mind.

After eating Thanksgiving at my house, my friends are always asking me how I prepare the turkey... ...easy, I tell the bird he is going to die.

Thanksgiving Poisoning A woman was arrested on Thanksgiving for trying to poison Mick Jagger and Keith Richard's Thanksgiving Day Turkey. When asked for the charges the officer replied, ""Trying to kill two stones with one bird.""

I wrote this one myself. (It's better then that redtile disfunction joke) There was a guy named Shawn and he lived near a really little town in the western plains of Texas. This town was really just a dot along a highway and didn't get much traffic at all. There was one gas station, a diner, and a little dollar store with necessities and household items. Shawn worked at the store, his first job. Shawn did stocking, and cleaning, and sometimes helped out on the register. It was an easy job and ne…