My nephew told me all he wants for Christmas is his dead dog back. Can't WAIT to see his face when I wrap it up and stick it under the tree.

Does it creep anyone else out that Donald Duck eats a turkey dinner on 'Once Upon A Christmas'? Isn't that a form of cannibalism?

Headline: "Russian Jet Shot Down by Turkey" My 1st thought was, "Holy shit the bird has gone Rambo." I must have Thanksgiving on my mind.

Two Hunters A classic... Two hunters are out shooting turkey. One of them takes a leak, and gets bitten by a big black rattlesnake. The other hunter shoots the snake, but is too late: his friend got deeply bit on his wiener. So, he calls 911 and proceeds to explain the situation: ""my friend got bit by a rattlesnake, blablabla, what should I do?"" - Relax, sir. We're sending a helicopter right away. In the meantime, we need you to suck on the bite so as to take the venom out. It's the only way t…