CHEF: You're fired ME: Is it cause I call beef patty's "beef patricias?" CHEF: Yes ME: Can I have some Switzerland cheese bef- CHEF: GET OUT

St Patty's Day Joke A young boy walks up to his grandfather and says ""grandpa, can I have $5 for a guinea pig?"" The grandfather looks at his grandson and says ""here's $10, get yourself a nice Irish girl.""

I got really drunk on St. Patty's Day last year and took the bus home. That may not seem like a big deal to you, but I'd never driven a bus before

I almost forgot to wish a happy St. Patty's day to... ...Barack O'Bama Got this from Neil deGrasse Tyson's Twitter.