No, I can't make it to your hair washing party tonight. I'm washing my h... erm i mean my dog ate my grandmother is dead.

My family crest is just a picture of my grandfather dressed up as a giant hotdog being dragged into a cave by a bear.

Guinea pigs aren't real pets. You buy them when your kids are begging for a dog, but you want to make them sad instead.

Sorry my seductive strip tease to Janet Jackson's Black Cat blew your Grandma's pacemaker and caused your Mom to divorce your Dad.