Me: *wakes up screaming* Wife: What's wrong? Me: Nightmare with the Microsoft Word Paperclip Helper again Wife: Need some help? Me: AHHH

NO EMAIL An unemployed man is desperate to support his family of a wife and three kids. He applies for a janitor's job at a large firm and easily passes an aptitude test. The human resources manager tells him, ""You will be hired at minimum wage of $5.35 an hour. Let me have your e-mail address so that we can get you in the loop. Our system will automatically e-mail you all the forms and advise you when to start and where to report on your first day."" Taken back, the man protests that he is poo…

Janitor or Millionaire Closer Than You Think! An unemployed man goes to apply for a job with Microsoft as a janitor. The manager there arranges for him to take an aptitude test (Section: Floors, sweeping and cleaning). After the test, the manager says, ""You will be employed at minimum wage, $5.15 an hour. Let me have your e-mail address, so that I can send you a form to complete and tell you where to report for work on your first day. Taken aback, the man protests that he has neither a computer…

Microsoft-Lover Three women were sitting around talking about their husbands' performance as lovers. The first woman says, ""My Husband works as a marriage counselor. He always buys me flowers and candy before we make love. I like that."" The second woman says, ""My husband is a motorcycle mechanic. He likes to play rough and slaps me around sometimes. I kinda like that."" The third woman just shakes her head and says, ""My husband works for Microsoft. He just sits on the edge of the bed and tel…