When I lose a follower, I like to pretend they were Taken, then I go to Europe and shoot absolutely everyone.

guy: my dog just died girl who studied abroad: wow that reminds of this one time in Europe i saw a dog

A 13-pound baby was born in GERMANY?? C'mon Mississippi, this is why we keep you around

If I had a time machine I'd go back to Germany in 1933 and change my Facebook avatar to an anti-Nazi logo.