I walk into the main office of a new school: Secretary: You a sub? *cheeks blush* Me: Who have you been talking to?

Nothing like listening to old school rap on the way to the office to make you want to smack a bitch.

Remember how you used to love getting all new school supplies and now you just steal them from the office?

Coworker: What was your college major? Me: How to avoid student-loan debt, with a minor in teen pregnancy.