I wanna work at a bank so I can get that employee discount on money

Brought my 5 year old to the tax office to ensure that the accountant works as quickly as possible.

I walk into the main office of a new school: Secretary: You a sub? *cheeks blush* Me: Who have you been talking to?

[At job interview] Interviewer: So tell me why you want this job. Me: I have no money and I prefer when I have money.