Wife: Who is it? Me [hand over phone]: The police, they say it's now illegal to fake throw a ball Dog in other room: [hangs up his phone]

DeeDee and DooDaa were best friends who loved to fish. One day while they were fishing, DooDaa fell in the lake and drowned. Frantic, DeeDee ran to the sheriff's office. He tried to explain what happened but DeeDee stuttered really badly. Finally the sheriff says ""just show me deedee."" They get to the lake and get doodaa's body out of the water and the sheriff says somebody will need to tell his wife. Being doodaa's best friend, DeeDee volunteers. He gets to the house and again just can't get …

Amish Brakes An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse and buggy when she is pulled over by a cop. Ma'am, I'm not going to ticket you, but I do have to issue you a warning. You have a broken reflector on your buggy. Oh, I'll let my husband, Jacob, know as soon as I get home. That's fine. Another thing, ma'am. I don't like the way that one rein loops across the horse's back and around one of his balls. I consider that animal abuse. That's cruelty to animals. Have your husband take care…

Why the chicken cross the road? It all started when his family was experiencing financial troubles, and needed money. He tried applying for many jobs, but they just didn't quite work out. After ending up in the drug business to support his family, a deal went bad and he was shot, landing him in the hospital. The night his family arrived to check on him, the same shooter made his way to his room murdered his wife and three children and somehow managed to evade police.. Months after this incident,…