He is on that bird call website a lot. - My Mom describing me on twitter to older relatives at get-togethers.

Our dog runs away so much, I'm just going to spray paint our phone number on her side.

Twitter yesterday: We are outraged about the lion! Twitter today: We are outraged about the outrage about the lion!

I need an aggressive dog-barking sound on my phone, for whenever anyone knocks on the bathroom door when I'm in there