[at Applebees on Christmas] God: Your food good? Jesus: Ya, it- *a crowd of servers surrounds them* Jesus: You didn't... HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO Y

applebees is a word that starts off pretty tame but takes a dangerous twist

[first date] *pointing indiscriminately* "uh-oh looks like we're on the Kiss Cam" there's no- *leans in* there's no Kiss Cam at Applebees

[therapy] "Where does your fear of spiders come from?" *flashback to Spider-Man trying to kiss me behind Applebees* They're just creepy okay