Pal: On your date, go to a French restaurant. And remember! Girls love a wine connoisseur. Later... Me: we'll both have the wine connoisseur

Can you taste the difference betwen creme brulee and a yeast infection? If you can't, then never piss off the hostess in your favorite French restaurant ...

I went into a French restaurant and asked the waitress... 'Have you got frog's legs?' She said, 'No, my jeans are just a bit tight.'

A fine wine The Navajo woman accepted my offer of a lift to the reservation, but didn't seem inclined to say much more. I noticed a look of ill-disguised disapproval as she got in the car, lingering for a moment on my exposed cleavage, but that was all she gazed stonily ahead while the car pulled away, leaving a trail of hot Nevada dust in the rear view mirror. After a few failed attempts at small talk, and my knowledge of her culture exhausted, I kept quiet, and concentrated instead on the eve…