I've wrecked my car yet I still weigh the same. This crash diet is for the birds.

We have enough breakfast items for the toaster now, food scientists. Move on to the car heater vent.

[slashing food truck tires] friend: wtf are you doing?! [running away with arms filled with tacos] YOU COMIN OR NOT?!

i wish everything was made out of pizza i'd be like hey bro sorry I ate your pizza car and pizza house and pizza wife.