White people really do look alike, so let's fill up on teriyaki chicken samples by walking laps around the food court.

Me: Define Illegal Cop: You're drunk, riding a horse, shooting a gun and yelling 'For Narnia' Me: I want my lawyer.

I'll usually order the chicken sandwich. I like my food to be more cowardly than I am.

"I'm a vegetarian but I eat fish." - People who don't get how definitions work.